Friday, June 12, 2009

Starting Anew

1:53 am...

I just finished speaking with Lisa a little while ago. She is a wise woman who I think that I can look up to. She is very different than how my adoptive mother used to be. She is open and honest and she tells me her mistakes so I wouldn't follow them. I told her everything that happened to me since Captain Trips hit. I figured that I didn't need to tell her anything before since all of our new lives have started after Captain Trips. She looked at me and honestly told me that I need to stop worrying about my past life and how it's going to affect the future and I need to concentrate on starting over.

"Anastasia Lillian Austen," she said, "You are only 20 years old, a baby compared to me. You were promiscuous when you were a teenager. So what? All of the boys and men that you've slept with are dead. Since then, you've only slept with one man, whom you thought that you could trust. You learned your lesson and became a woman who took a beautiful child under your wing. You've fallen in love and even if he doesn't feel the same yet, it seems like he will. Put the past in the past. This whole...situation has made you grow up. Don't let that boy make you relapse into someone that you didn't like. Don't worry about him or the man that you love. Everything will fall into place, Lillian (she's used to calling me 'Stacy', but it's a start). Be patient, be wise and be careful with your heart. Give it to whoever is willing to give theirs to you, and keep most of it for your daughter. You see, I lost a son, but I gained you and I gained Sophie. I miss Stewart (her son), but I'm glad that I met the two of you."

So, I thought about what she said, and I decided to take her advice. I'm starting a new life. I'm not waiting until we make it to Nebraska or Colorado. It starts now. I'm happy with Sophie and I'm happy knowing that a man loves me for who I am. I'm even happy that I have parents again. I'm going to let go of all of the mess that I've put myself through and the mess that I've let others put me through. I haven't felt this good in a really long time, and I think that I will continue to feel this way. Good night, all.

P.S: He told me that he chooses to spend his life with me, if I consent. I said, "I do!"

No comments:

Post a Comment