Sunday, June 21, 2009

Father's Day

1:24 pm...

Today is Father's Day, or it would have been if the Superflu hadn't killed the majority of the world. Peter has been keeping himself busy, but I know that Lisa was taking today hard. After taking a walk with Nick this morning, Sophie and I went to go see them at their new house (since they're unofficially my parents and Sophie's grandparents). I brought Lisa some flowers and I brought Peter some books by Bob Vila. Oh, did he love those. Their house is really nice. It's a smaller 3 bedroom + den with 1.5 bathrooms. Peter said that the den could be either my bedroom or Sophie's if we ever needed a place to stay. I couldn't be more honored.

While Peter and Sophie were playing in the backyard, I sat with Lisa for a spell and we caught up a bit. I told her about my relationship with Nick and all of my hopes and fears that comes with being in a relationship with him. Again, she told me that she and Peter were going to talk to him to see what his intentions were with me, and I told her that Nick's intentions are to be a good man to me and a good man to Sophie. Then, she brought up "the incident" that happened in Loveland. I told her that I didn't want to talk about it, but she reiterated that Sophie and I could always come to live with them if there was a need to.

"Stacy," she told me, "Don't go trying to change yourself or tie yourself into knots to impress this boy. From what I saw of him and from what Mother Abigail expects of him, he seems to have his head on straight and he seems to be loyal to you. However, he is the leader of our people, only second to Mother Abigail and God. There is going to be people watching you because of this. He cannot be distracted or led away from his duties, but you can't sit there and be someone that you're not for him. It's good that you've decided to get rid of some of your old habits, but you're too young to be saddled down with the weight of the world on your shoulders because you're in love with a boy that's not that much older than you. The two of you are still growing. Both of you may think that a baby and marriage and a family is the 'right' thing to have because of this new day and age, but I don't want either of you to resent the other later down the line. Do you understand me?"

Leave it to Lisa to make me doubt myself. I told her that I understood what she was saying, but I didn't stay much longer after that. I'm not mad at Lisa, but I hate when people start to make me doubt myself. I don't think that she was telling me to leave Nick, but I'm getting the feeling that she was telling me to watch out for him, when it's probably me that he needs to watch out for. On the plus side, Sophie will be spending the night at Peter and Lisa's house tonight.

Sophie fascinates me everyday. Today, she told me that her mother was "death" and that's why she knows sign language. She loves the Dr. Seuss books that I got for her and she calls Nick "Daddy Nick." She's also asking about sex again. I'm anal about making sure that she doesn't hear me when Nick and I are intimate, but I think that she learned it from Lisa and Peter because she asked me if I have sex with Nick "like Grammy and Grampy do?" I don't know how to answer her.

That's it for right now. I have to find something to eat and soon! I'm starving.

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