Sunday, August 30, 2009

Lucky, Lucky Me

11:57 pm...

I have to be one of the luckiest women in this new world. Nick was gone for most of the day, but we did spend some time together before he went to sleep. He said he was coming down with a cold and two thoughts crossed my mind instantaneously. The first thought was that he had a late strain of Captain Trips and I was going to watch him die. The second thought was I was glad he doesn't have Captain Trips, but I had to keep the baby safe. I think he was thinking along those lines as well because he offered to sleep in the guest bedroom until he felt better. Since I'm used to sleeping with him in our bed, I asked him to sleep with me tonight. We didn't have sex tonight, but I think he was just too tired and sick to care. So, we went to bed.

I don't sleep well, despite the fatigue I've been having. I take naps during the day, so it's harder for me to actually go to sleep at night, which is I'm blogging instead of sleeping next to my wonderful fiance.

I find it odd sometimes that I can communicate with someone who can't hear or talk to me better than someone that can hear and/or talk to me. It's definitely odd, but wonderful at the same time. I told Nick earlier tonight that I was sad about the sonogram issue I've been having, and the first thing he says is that he'll ask Dr. Ellis if we can use the genny (generator, for those who are wondering) to have one. Isn't he wonderful or what?

I also find myself very comfortable with our comfortable silences. I know that most of the time we spend together is silent, but it can be terribly uncomfortable when we have our uncomfortable silences and it can be so welcoming when we have comfortable silences. I look at Nick when we're in the middle of comfortable silences and I think about how beautiful he is and how beautiful our little boy or girl will be just from his genes alone. I'm pretty, but I didn't conceive little Rudy or Hope by myself. Luckily, I found someone who is gentle and sweet and protective of our little family.

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